In the Heat of the Moment.

Last year I was living on campus of a college I was attending in Newtown.  It was the last night of our mid-year holidays, everyone had arrived back and were all, at this time of night (roughly 9), in their warm little beds loving life.  

Not me.  

I had a brand spanking new clothes steamer to try out (the ironing board there was so bad, lame excuse to own a clothes steamer, but I'm pretty awesome like that).

Off-stage:

I begin to steam a shirt and the fire alarm begins to go off.  I figure it must be me and before even thinking about it I disassemble my steamer and shove it under my bed (one of my finer moments).

Front-stage:

I walk up to the evacuation point where everyone is already standing  They're in their pyjamas not loving life.  I immediately begin to yawn and pretend the street light bothers my newly opened eyes. I did Speech and Drama lessons as a child so I know it's convincing.  I'm not wearing pyjamas though.  

What I lack in costume I make up for in talent.  

We have a back to base alarm system so we all have to wait for the fire brigade to come.  Everyone is complaining (it's very cold) and speculating (was someone making toast?). I throw a few gems into the mix about what could have set the alarms off.

Back-stage:

I pull two friends around a corner to tell them my story.  I wait for them to tell me I am not to blame.  

They do.  

Surely steam doesn't set off a fire alarm?

Front-stage:

I have a new found confidence as I now believe I'm really not to blame.  I rejoin the speculations (someone could have been lighting their deodorant on fire with matches, or a blowtorch).  

A fireman comes out and one of the girls asks "which room was it?"  

He says "M27". 

Surprise twist, that's my room.  

She turns and asks "who's in M27?"  

Crickets chirp.  

Everyone decides to walk back through my corridor to see who the perpetrator is.  

I walk into my room with my head held down in shame.

Lessons:

1. Don't steam your clothes.  It's embarrassing, even if you don't set off an alarm.

2. Don't pay for Speech and Drama lessons as a child because, in life, you can't always win.